Transfers will never stop, transfers are going on forever. It will never be finally decided who has won transfers.
Given the endless talk surrounding possible transfers and, more often than not, ones that will never happen, you could be forgiven for thinking there is some kind of signing season open.
The summer window is still a few months away, but this is not stopping feverish, click-chasing outlets across the silly footballing land from pretending lots is happening.
The lack of actual stories on the pitch has contributed to the spouting of new extreme levels of nonsense as Manchester City apparently prepare to set a new British transfer record with a £171m ‘offer’ for a Barcelona starwho, in truth, is going nowhere.
But history could still be made this summer as most of the supposed ‘Big Six’ chase world-class strikers, so here’s a look at the current and five previous British transfer record-holders.
Moises Caicedo to Chelsea (£115m – August 2023)
Enzo Maresca’s suggestion that Caicedo is the “best defensive midfielder in the world” after a 1-0 win against *checks notes* Tottenham Hotspur was a bit of a stretch, but the 23-year-old has fared much better post-£100m transfer than most of his counterparts.
The former Liverpool target’s second season at Stamford Bridge has been far stronger than his first and he’s one of the few huge Todd Boehly-era signings to pay off. He’s not quite justified the £100m player tag yet, but he’s getting there.
READ:Champions League qualification race predictions: Chelsea ruled out and Villa could become favourites
Enzo Fernandez to Chelsea (£106m – January 2023)
This has comfortably been Fernandez’s best season to date at Chelsea, but that is not saying much. Like Caicedo, he needs to produce the goods more consistently if he’s to be considered an elite midfielder instead of one who’s purely very good on his day.
Fernandez has found himself at the centre of transfer speculation concerning a deal that won’t come to fruition, with it incredibly difficult to see what he would add to what is already a well-stocked Real Madrid midfield.
Jack Grealish to Manchester City (£100m – August 2021)
We love Grealish, and you should too. He’s clearly a brilliant bloke and a gifted footballer, but even we have to admit that his time at Man City is coming to an end.
Grealish’s immense form heavily contributed to Man City’s historic Treble season in 2022/23, but he’s not come close to matching this overwhelming peak in prior or subsequent campaigns.
Pep Guardiola’s new favourite toy – Omar Marmoush – is the third attack-minded signing to outshine the England international after Jeremy Doku and Savinho and he desperately needs a new home to rediscover the magical performances he produced in his second season and for Aston Villa.
MORE TRANSFER NONSENSE ON F365…
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Paul Pogba to Manchester United (£89m – August 2016)
Even with Man Utd’s woeful downfall this season, you are hard-pressed to find a former Red Devils player-cum-pundit desperate enough to call for Pogba to be given a “third chance” at Old Trafford, withDwight Yorke one exception.
Pogba is arguably the most talented footballer on this list, so the massive investment of £89m to re-sign him from Juventus could have been justified at the time. However, the story of his second stint at Man Utd – marred by manager fallouts and a stinking attitude – should give him no hope of another chance, even with Sir Jim Ratcliffe supposedly ‘betting on’ free agents this summer.
Angel Di Maria to Manchester United (£59.7m – August 2014)
Another contender for being Man Utd’s worst signing post-Sir Alex Ferguson, Di Maria is a fine example of an individual who proves the club has become a “graveyard for coaches and players”.
Di Maria joined Man Utd riding the crest of a wave after shining in the previous season’s Champions League final, but he flopped at Old Trafford and could not leave quickly enough, joining PSG after a single season in the Premier League.
His success after exiting Man Utd suggests the club were the problem, not him, as there are only two Old Trafford departees post-Ferguson who have done better.
Fernando Torres to Chelsea (£50m – January 2011)
“This was the no-brainer. This was the banker, this was the one that couldn’t fail, this was the one that’s never failed.” Well, it did…
Chelsea appeared to pull off a major coup when they snatched Liverpool’s goal machine from their arch-rivals, but it turned out his legs had gone as he only scored 20 goals in 110 Premier League games for the Blues. He at least has that Champions League semi-final goal to lean on, though.
